Dear Juno, I would like to start by saying that what you did was brave and in general a hard thing to do. I believe you did the right thing by carrying the baby to term and giving it up. In your circumstances it wouldn’t have been ideal to raise a child with someone who wasn’t even your boyfriend. I also think that going and talking to Bleeker was a good first move, however the timing in which you approached him was poor. In my opinion you should have sat him down and talked through it more than just telling him and asking him what to do while he had to go. I bring this up because if I were in the situation with someone I would prefer to talk about it in detail and not at an awkward time. Now as for when you went to the abortion clinic, I believe you did the right thing there to explore your options and get a sense of what you could and would do. Even though that’s not exactly why you went there it is a good step. After that you did the best thing you could do by going and telling your parents. I think your parents would have done anything possible to help you whether you kept the baby or gave it up, however I do think you should have talked more with Bleeker before giving it up for adoption considering it was also his child. He did say do what you think is best but as I stated earlier you should have communicated with him better. The main point I am trying to relay to you is that it isn’t a decision one person should take on alone. The guy in the situation may want to keep the baby where as you might want to give it up for adoption, but you should discuss that. As for the abortion part if you were to go down that route, yes it is your body and you should be able to just do it if you want to even if the guy disagrees, however I still believe it important to discuss the situation together no matter what you originally feel, your opinion may change or stay the same but at least you talked about it and came to a conclusion. If I were in this situation I would want to talk to my partner about it because they shouldn’t feel alone in the situation and the baby is as much mine as it is hers even though she will or will not be carrying it to term. If the situation were solely up to me though, I would want my partner to carry the baby to term and then give it up for adoption because I know that right now I am not prepared to be a father, and giving it up would give it a better opportunity to have a better happier life. So in the end I believe you did the right thing in carrying the baby to term and then giving it up for adoption. The truth is that nobody can tell you what to do and it is up to you and your partner to decide what path to take.
I would like to start by saying that what you did was brave and in general a hard thing to do. I believe you did the right thing by carrying the baby to term and giving it up. In your circumstances it wouldn’t have been ideal to raise a child with someone who wasn’t even your boyfriend. I also think that going and talking to Bleeker was a good first move, however the timing in which you approached him was poor. In my opinion you should have sat him down and talked through it more than just telling him and asking him what to do while he had to go. I bring this up because if I were in the situation with someone I would prefer to talk about it in detail and not at an awkward time. Now as for when you went to the abortion clinic, I believe you did the right thing there to explore your options and get a sense of what you could and would do. Even though that’s not exactly why you went there it is a good step. After that you did the best thing you could do by going and telling your parents. I think your parents would have done anything possible to help you whether you kept the baby or gave it up, however I do think you should have talked more with Bleeker before giving it up for adoption considering it was also his child. He did say do what you think is best but as I stated earlier you should have communicated with him better. The main point I am trying to relay to you is that it isn’t a decision one person should take on alone. The guy in the situation may want to keep the baby where as you might want to give it up for adoption, but you should discuss that. As for the abortion part if you were to go down that route, yes it is your body and you should be able to just do it if you want to even if the guy disagrees, however I still believe it important to discuss the situation together no matter what you originally feel, your opinion may change or stay the same but at least you talked about it and came to a conclusion. If I were in this situation I would want to talk to my partner about it because they shouldn’t feel alone in the situation and the baby is as much mine as it is hers even though she will or will not be carrying it to term. If the situation were solely up to me though, I would want my partner to carry the baby to term and then give it up for adoption because I know that right now I am not prepared to be a father, and giving it up would give it a better opportunity to have a better happier life. So in the end I believe you did the right thing in carrying the baby to term and then giving it up for adoption. The truth is that nobody can tell you what to do and it is up to you and your partner to decide what path to take.